Well, I ran into him at the bar last night. Forget the part where I knew that this was his favorite bar and he would probably be there, it was completely chance. Turns out that, yeah he had a death in the family, no he’s not interested in me, and apparently I’m really awkward because I didn’t really talk to him all night (I thought he was on a date…), despite the fact that he made no effort to speak to me either. So there it is. Like I said, dating is strange. Were we even dating? I really have no idea. I do know that I’m a little sad he’s not interested, but now I can stop feeling guilty for pseudo-cheating on my pseudo-boyfriend who I can only pseudo-date because he lives on the other side of the country. That sentence made me sound insane, right? Yeah, I know. I think you’ll get over it. I know I did.
Why should almost 2,000 miles (read this) stop me from regularly interacting with someone who really understands me? I think we’ve reached a silent agreement that if ever a time comes in our lives when we may be able to live near each other and there are no other ties, we’ll see whether it works. That we live as far away as we do and have been communicating regularly for a year, care about each other and are able to stay friends when one of us is seeing someone and “lovers” when neither is – is, I believe, healthier than you would think a long distance non-relationship with someone you met on a video game would be. Have I mentioned I know that most of this is just rationalizing? Because I do. Know that.
And now, I will leave with this. My cat has decided that my cowl neck sweatshirt from Victoria’s secret that I usually wear as a pajama top is an invitation for him to stick his head down my shirt.